I've got my own site!!!! Moving up in the world...

Yay! I've finally got it together. It took me forever plus infinite amounts of time at the Mac store to learn how to do the basics, but alas, here it is:

www.sleepisforwussymamas.com

Make sure you go there for all my blogs now. The difference is that it will be much simpler to post pictures and video. Now, I just have to get more organized!

It's also super easy to post comments on this new site, so please send me a note to let me know what you think! It keeps me writing when I know people are actually reading. Really!

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!

A group I'm starting!

For all you parents out there reading this in the San Fernando Valley, I'm starting up a chapter of Holistic Moms Network. It's a national organization with over 120 chapters, but there's no chapter in the valley. This shocked me, so I'm taking things into my own hands and starting up our very own chapter. Also, because I just felt like I didn't have anything to do with all my free time.

It's a support group for people who want to try to live more holistically and learn how to raise their kids in this same way. It's for moms, dads, adoptive parents, gay/lesbian parents, and significant others!!! Bring your kids~ everyone is welcome. We meet once a month and we'll always have a topic to discuss with various speakers, health care providers, or sometimes just a bunch of us sharing our stories.

We're still looking for a place to hold our meetings but if anyone is interested in finding out more info please email me at HMNsfv@me.com so that I can notify you once things are set. We'll meet on the second Monday of every month, with our first one happening on Nov. 9th! Put it on your calendars and make sure you pass on the word to other like-minded peeps!!!

Also, if anyone has any cool connections to free meeting spaces, then let me know. I will forever be indebted to you!!!!!

If you want more info on the organization itself check out: www.holisticmoms.org We're a pretty cool group of people, if I do say so myself.

Hope to see you there!

Another audition but no more smiles

Well, the good news is that I booked that gig I auditioned for from my last blog!!! Yay!!! It is for a sketch on the comedy show, Important Things with Demetri Martin (on Comedy Central). I play a pregnant woman who goes into labor on an airplane. I'm quite certain that my charming boy was the reason for me getting this job. He definitely had the room entertained.

I shot the scene this past week and had a ton of fun! It was really amazing to be back on a set again after such a long hiatus. The fun part was putting on a "pregnant belly". It looked so real, everyone thought I was really pregnant. It didn't weigh nearly what a real nine month pregnant belly weighs, but it was just as hot! The only big bummer was that I was gone from the boy for 10.5 hours. I missed him terribly. And of course, having been away from him for that long, I had no choice. I HAD TO PUMP!!!!! Argh. And this could not have been in a worse situation.

We only got a half hour lunch break and pumping took 25 minutes. And my location choices were trailer #1 (woman's dressing trailer), trailer #2 (make-up trailer), trailer #3 (wardrobe trailer), or a small, stinky bathroom. Trailer #1: way too small. Trailer #2: the make-up artist was a man. Stinky bathroom: no way. So I chose lucky Trailer #3. At least they had an outlet that I could use to plug in the pump but I had to stand up and be about two feet away from the door. Gee, I didn't think to bring my extension cord...

Overall, it was pretty painless. The two very sweet wardrobe ladies came in to eat their lunch while I was all hooked up. The younger one seemed a bit embarrassed and felt like she couldn't really look at me. Or maybe she thought I was embarrassed and wanted to give me some privacy. I declined letting her know that 1.) after having a baby, very little embarrasses me and 2.) I gave up all semblance of privacy since hhhmmmm, when would that have happened? Oh yeah, after having a baby. But that was very gracious of her. The other sweet lady was totally amazed that my boobs could be hooked up to a machine and milk can drain into plastic bottles which are suctioned onto my nipples. Watching it happen is really like a visit to the dairy farm. It's easy to be amazed at the capabilities of the female human body when witnessing such an event. I'm more in awe of the inventor who came up with the idea and wonder how painful it was for all of the lactating moms who were willing to be test subjects.

Anyhow, 25 minutes later, the deed was done. The bottles went into my handy milk cooler and off I raced to the lunch line where of course, everyone was just finishing their meals and heading back to the set. I ate fast. Other than that, a really great day.

So, that was one audition that panned out to be work. I had another audition that same week. This one was actually a callback at the Mark Taper theater so I was pretty excited about it. I had my initial audition on a day when my husband could watch the boy so there were no issues there. But I had no choice but to bring the boy on this day. I scrambled around for some plans on how to handle the situation and I came up with one that seemed to be flawless. For theater auditions, it's nearly impossible to bring a baby into the room. Theater auditions lasts longer than tv/commercial auditions so if I brought him into the room, there would be a strong possibility that the boy would start to make some noise (and probably a cute one). Then all of a sudden, what I thought would be my audition would actually turn into the boy becoming the star of the room. That would not be the time or place to be upstaged by my own child. Wasn't there some famous actor that said, "I will not work with children or dogs"? Smart move.

So my "flawless" plan was to have my friend watch the boy while I went into the audition. Brilliant! Until we decided to sit in traffic for over an hour just to get to downtown LA. Leaving with plenty of time, I picked up my friend who coincidentally lives less than 10 miles away from the theater. At this point, the boy was just about to experience his meltdown but he was so good. He held it back as long as he could. With 60 minutes in stop and go traffic, he still had somewhat of a smirk on his face. The remaining 10 miles is where he lost it. Of course, living in LA, those 10 miles took about 20 minutes to drive. Meltdown slowly escalates.

I pull into the parking lot that I went to last time because I thought it would be safe to stick to things that I am familiar with given the circumstances. It's 4:35 pm and the sign on the parking lot attendant's window says that he leaves at 4:30 pm. Surely there's some way to pay for the parking spot during "after hours", right??? The parking lot is open all night with no gate to let people know that it closes. Not one sign that lets you know what to do in case he's gone for the day. But of course, the biggest sign of all says "ABSOLUTELY NO FREE PARKING AT ANY TIME!"

The flawless plan was that my friend could walk around the area and entertain the boy for 30 minutes or so. He would without a doubt be distracted enough by all the cool things to see. There was even a beautiful fountain that he would have loved. But without paying for our parking spot we didn't want to chance leaving our car there. Oh yeah, after the fierce warning in bright red letters about no free parking, they listed the towing company that you should call in the event that they find out that you parked for free. No messing around with these folks.

At this point I now have 10 minutes to get to my audition. Definitely not in a good place. I wanted to quickly feed the boy before I left so he wouldn't be too hungry but because of his meltdown he was not interested in food one bit. So off I went to my audition leaving my poor friend in the parking lot with my poor boy, crying madly. He was really quite pissed that after making him sit in the car for so long I hand him over to someone else to hold him. Mommy-guilt. On top of it all, there was not an ounce of shade for them to hide under and it was about 100 degrees. And the scenery was worse than uninteresting. It was downright ugly. Just rows and rows of cars. Certainly not the beautiful fountain that I promised him.

I arrived at my audition sweaty and stressed. Definitely not in the mental or physical place I wanted to be. Especially after having prepared so hard for the callback, to be in such a state of chaos was very disappointing. But I had no choice. I did my thing and felt okay about it. Not great. Just okay. The only glimmer of hope I got was that I managed to make the playwright and director snicker a few times and then the playwright actually applauded when I was done. I figured this meant I did a good job or he was just really glad that I was the last person for the day and he was excited to go home.

Either way, I have no idea what they really thought of me but I haven't gotten "that" call yet. It's been well over a week so I've come to accept that they won't be giving me "that" call. I was beating myself up for quite a while though afterwards because I felt like I should have given a better performance. That's the tough thing about being an actor. The bruises and mental torture we endure which take us from one job to the next.

As my husband says, why can't I just focus on the good things that happened? Out of two auditions in one week, I booked one of them! But I wouldn't be a neurotic LA actor if I didn't obsess about the things that I could have done better. It's part of the job description. And like motherhood, it's a job that takes forever to see the pay off.

WHAT?!?!?!?! WHO IS THE FASTEST CRAWLING BABY IN ALL THE LAND???

Okay, it's insanity. I thought I had no time before? INSANITY, I tell you. If there were no major obstacles (and by major, I mean like a steel wall) the boy could get from here to Nevada in about four hours. Alas! My new job as a mother involves being creative, being quick, and being the "bad guy" all at the same time.

Everything he wants, he can't have. Well, he shouldn't have. Otherwise, poison control and 911 would be frequent phone calls. So, I am constantly taking things from his hands or his mouth. The dogs tail is one of them.

Of course, anything on the floor was always ignored in the past. Heck, that's why I put it on the floor in the first place. I didn't want to look at it anymore, or I just couldn't deal with it at the time, so the ground has always been as good a place as any. But now, super human, turbo charged vacuum cleaner and floor polisher (aka: my son) sees all these things that I wanted to ignore. He picks them up and within an instant the meanie-monster-mommy has snatched it away from him. Gone are the days where he didn't know any better. Now, he realizes that whatever he's not supposed to have is probably the best "toy" of all.

Something that has taken the place of his regular baths is his frequent visit to the dogs water bowl. Certainly that is safe! After all, I spent all summer teaching him how fun water is and encouraged him to make really big splashes while we swam. So, there's no reason why he shouldn't splash the dogs water all over the kitchen. He's actually tried to climb into the bowl because I think it reminds him of a swimming pool, on a smaller scale. Again, meanie-monster-mommy steps in.

Excuse me as I write this. My brain is being infiltrated with Baby Einstein music and I can't think straight. At the same time, I am hoping that the boy will be distracted enough with his own toys so that I can write something. Instead, he finds crawling directly under my chair to be the most exciting option. I'm sure there are safer places but at least I know where he is.

Today I had an audition and I had to bring the boy. Always a very anxiety-filled event. For me, not for him. The audition times are NEVER convenient, I spend an hour deciding what to wear, then another hour griping about having to actually shower and wear make-up, then I usually have to wake the boy from some precious nap, and drive in LA traffic to actually find where I'm going.

Of course there was some "event" happening on Hollywood Blvd. so there were all kinds of detours, crazy drivers, and lost people trying to drive past the cones that said "Do Not Enter". Clearly, a big red circle with a line going through it is not a universal language. But oh well, I'm pressed for time. My next mission is to find a parking spot that is within reasonable walking distance from the building that I need to go to. Otherwise, I know exactly how I would look after pushing a stroller uphill ten blocks in 90 degree weather. And I didn't put on this make up for nothing!

I find a spot a mere two blocks away. Lucky me! My next issue was a parking meter that kept eating my quarters but not giving me any credit for it. So either pride, being rushed, or the fact that I already gave it $3.00 prevented me from moving my car to a "working" meter. The sign said, "$2.00 for each hour" but the meter was only showing that I had 58 minutes after giving it three bucks! MAD TIMES!!!! Anyway, the boy was already in his stroller, and I very well couldn't have left him on the street as I moved my car to another meter. Surely, that would be called in as child abandonment. And I hadn't even gotten to the audition yet! I think I put in over $5.00 before it finally read that I had two hours.

Dazed and confused, I strolled our way down Hollywood Blvd. looking like a lost tourist. Luckily, I ran into an old friend of mine at the audition. It was so lovely to see him. He helped me find the elevator in the building. And lucky for me, the casting director was very "kid friendly"! She didn't mind one bit that I lugged the boy into her waiting room. The stroller took up the entire hallway, but she maneuvered around it without a second thought.

I spent the next several minutes reconnecting with my friend, and wouldn't you know it? The boy had everyone entertained! He smiled, laughed, and soaked in his admirations. There wasn't a person there who couldn't help but smile at him. It's like I put a quarter in him and he was all ready for some tricks.

I'm just about ready to be called in so I decide to breastfeed him really super fast. Ya know, to keep his chipper personality just a little bit longer. So, I snuck into what seemed like the office supplies room and shut the door. I sat on several reams of paper as the fax machine was spouting out papers and the coffee machine was making funny noises. Out came the booby for feeding time. I tell ya! If you told me I'd be doing this when he was two weeks old, I'd have laughed in your face.

A mere five minutes later, I hear my name being called over and over and over again. My lovely friend tells them where I am. There's nothing discreet about, "She's breastfeeding in the supply closet." So, I hurriedly pull my shirt down and hop out the room. I throw the boy like a sack of potatoes to my friend who's agreed to hold him while I have my audition. Then as I enter the audition room I take a split second to make sure I'm all put together. And, alas! That darned breast pad was half sticking out of my shirt. Seconds before the casting director turns around to say hello I managed to shove it back in. But god knows how the rest of me looked.

Well, it didn't take long for me to actually figure out how I looked. After the audition, I looked in my car mirror: raccoon eyes from the mascara because it was so hot out, and my hair was a mess because I had my sunglasses on top of my head for the past three hours.

Auditions now that I'm a mother have proven to be quite difficult. But once I get there and see other moms lugging around their kid(s) I feel like I'm a part of some secret masochistic club.

Okay, it's taken me three days to actually write this. I don't know if I got out the point that I had started out with. But more will be coming shortly!!!

Is That a Toy Boy I see?

Why is it when the boy has every imaginable toy in his possession the most exciting thing to play with is the metal trash can?

Right before this picture was taken he was attempting to put the dog's tail in his mouth. Can't you just see the guilty look on his face?

People seemed to not believe me when I said the boy has too many toys. Perhaps they thought I was being gracious by saying, "Oh, please don't buy him anything. He really has too much." While I am very grateful for the many wonderful gifts we have received, from the looks of this picture, I think it's safe to say he really has too much.

And actually, this picture shows only half of it. It does not show the toys that were too heavy to add to the pile, or the toys in the shed that are not for his age yet. The picture also does not show the three cribs, two playpens, a crawling safari tunnel, and two jumpers he has. Almost all of these toys make some kind of noise, light up, or roll around. They do not, however, clean my house, wash the dogs, or cook dinner. Useless, I tell you!!!

Now in my defense, I did NOT buy him all of these things. In addition, most of them were not even gifts. Thanks to the wonderful world of my old job I was able to obtain loads and loads of toys. For free! Nice, huh? I don't feel guilty at all... until I see some poor child playing with a metal trash can because that is his only toy. One of these days I will make it into a donation center.

Now, as I am typing he is getting the biggest kick out of hitting the metal trash can with his rattle. He prefers the noise the trash can makes over the noise of the rattle. Hours of entertainment. But selling a metal trash can as a child's toy just wouldn't be marketable.

What a Sweet, Sweet (Potato) Face!

Well, he did it. Had his first bite of food! Sweet potatoes in honor of our fall weather. Daddy got to feed him, as promised. The reaction was as expected~ uncertainty, confusion about whether to like it or not, and then much more interest in throwing the spoon around. I think he got about one ounce in his mouth, a 1/2 ounce down to his stomach, and about 2 ounces on his shirt.

We did get it on video and of course the commentary is much more exciting than watching him. "That's too much." "I need a napkin." "Oooohhh, yummy Kien!" I'm not sure we convinced him.

So, our first adventure with food went quite well. I did make Daddy clean up his chair, tray, and surrounding area. That was the trade off for being the first one to feed him. Not to mention that I'll probably be stuck with that task from here on out...

I think the only thing we have to work on is stop having dinner at 9:30pm. I'm sure somebody somewhere will tell me that that is too late.

Stupid theory

Yesterday I came up with a theory.

I was lying in bed and playing with the boy. I was getting so tired of him pulling one or two strands of hair. Not pulling it completely out of my head, but just pulling enough to cause torture. So, I thought I would take a chunk of hair out of my 3-day old ponytail so that he could pull on a larger piece of hair. I thought it wouldn't sting quite so bad.

That was a dumb theory.

Completely different thought: I was told by my good friend that her 4 year old daughter weighs 30 lbs. Kien weighs 20 lbs. at 7 months old. Her daughter did not reach 20 lbs. until she was about 2 years old. (I think they even started out at the same birth weight.) Could this explain the great arm work out I am getting every day?