Just need sleep...

So, the scenario is: it's 6am and I just finished feeding the baby. I try to lay him back down so his feet are actually pointing in the right direction. He arches his back and rolls over so that now he is perpendicular to the way most humans sleep on beds. Fine. I will just lay on my side and pray that I don't fall off. I'm so excited that I may get some more sleep before my alarm is set to go off at 8:30am.

Eyes closed and this is what I hear: one of my three dogs is snoring. Loudly. Oddly enough, it's the tiniest one who weighs only 18 lbs but she sounds like an overweight 50 year old man. Then dog #2 starts snoring. I stupidly think that it's so loud that surely my husband will wake up from the noise. He is sound asleep. I reach over into my handy dandy Arm's Reach Cosleeper and grab a baby blanket. I ball it up and throw it over and across the room to hopefully hit one (or both) dogs. The snoring from both dogs cease, but for only 30 seconds. They go right on back to dreaming about chasing squirrels.

So, I would not call myself a lazy person. Just tired. I know full well that I could get up and gently wake the dogs to get them to stop snoring. However, my main concern is that I will lose my place in the bed. I am selflessly taking up only the last 10 inches of the bed. My son's feet are pressed firmly into my side, occasionally using my ribs to strengthen his quads. If I get up, I know that he will scoot over and sprawl himself out onto my designated 10 inches. Then, for sure all hope for sleep is lost. I lay there wondering what to do. Of course, I tell myself if I was THAT tired I would be able to sleep thru anything. Snoring dogs is not that big of a deal.

Then, to add insult to injury the husband starts to snore. How is it possible that three living creatures are sleeping so soundly? It's as if they are snoring to remind me exactly what sleep is. In case I forgot. In case I wasn't sure how to do it. In case they need to let me know just how enjoyable it is. Forget enjoyable, just essential. So again, selflessly, I don't think, "Oh god, shut up so I can get some sleep." I think, "Oh god, shut up because you are going to wake up the baby." We can not have that.

I decide to turn onto my other side, carefully not to disturb the slumbering babe. Perhaps with my back to my son and facing the cosleeper next to me will help the "feet in the ribs" issue. I am sure to get some sleep then. I am met with my son's potty, filled with urine, inches from my face. Forget it. The alarm is going to go off.